SOLOMON B. FREEHOF

We were not told by the questioner what the young woman's own attitude is with regard to moving to Israel . We will assume that she is willing to do so. However, her parens are firmly opposed to the move. This sharp difference of opinion between them may, of course, intensify and embitter all involved and even endanger the marriage and the stability of the conversion. This may well be, but it need not necessarily be so. As long as the young bride can remain bound in her love to her parents, she may well keep communications open with them and perhaps ultimately establish some agreement. Therefore, the question now arises: How close, according to Jewish law, may a convert remain to her parents?

The bare statement of the law would seem to indicate that having been converted, she no longer has any relationship with the parents. The wording of the law is: A convert is a newborn child (Yevamot 22a). That is to say, like a newborn child, she has no past. What she was, what her relations were, no longer exist (incidentally, this must be the background of the expression in the Gospel:("Unless you are like little children, you cannot enter the kingdom of heaven.") Therefore, since by this bald statement of the law she no longer has any kinship with her Gentile parents, she could now be permitted to marry any of her former close kin, or would no longer have duty which all children have to respect and honor her parents. Therefore, the law has been immediately modified for otherwise she could say,"Before I converted I could not marry those of close kinship to me but now do you permit it? Before I converted| was in duty bound to honor my parents, and now do you say I am no longer obligated to do so?" It is because of these potential protests on the part of the convert that the law was modified at once and as it stands now she must still consider herself akin to her parents and must continue to honor them in every way(Shulhan Arukh, Yoreh Deah 241:9).

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