ADULTERY AND MARRIAGE Walter Jacob

QUESTION: One of the partners in a marriage has engaged in an adulterous relationship, and the marriage has terminated in acrimonious divorce. Subsequently, the adulterous party has asked the rabbi to officiate at the marriage to“the other person.” Should the rabbi comply with the request?

ANSWER: The sources are clear in their prohibition of adultery(Ex. 20.13) and of marriage between the adulterous party and her lover (Sot. 27b; Shulhan Arukh Even Haezer 11.1, 178.17). The traditional statements, of course, deal primarily with the adulterous woman and her lover. They are very strict in this regard and even prohibit remarriage to her former husband, though she may not have been married to anyone else subsequent to the divorce(Shulhan Arukh Even Haezer 11.1). The prohibition against marrying her lover holds true not only after divorce but even after the death of her former husband(Yev. 24b Shulhan Arukh Even Haezer 11:9).

Despite these strictures the reality of the situation, which usually led the adulterous parties to live together and possibly to marry, brought rabbinic recognition of this status. Tradition gives its grudging consent by stating that if, nevertheless, the adulterous parties marry, they are not compelled to divorce(Shulhan Arukh Even Haezer 11.2 ff and commentaries, 159.3; Otzar Haposqim Even Haezer 11.1, 44).

A rabbi may, in this instance, find herself/himself in a difficult position as she is duty-bound to strengthen family life and defend the sanctity of marriage. If he/she, however, refuses to marry this couple, they may simply opt to live together, as is frequent in our time, that will not help their situation or the general attitude towards family life. Therefore, the rabbi should officiate at such a marriage, while at the same time discussing her own hesitation in keeping the tradition.