exclusive relationship with one man, there is neither punishment of stripes nor violation of a negative precept.””® According to the Ravad, therefore, an unmarried woman who is living exclusively with a single Jewish man has the status of the biblical concubine. There is no licentiousness or adultery involved. The Ramban concurs with the Ravad.
A concurring opinion of the Ramban was found in the collection of the Rashba that, is spite of the caveat, is indeed in discursus on the pilegesh:“I shall explain to you my opinion of the concubine, without didactic discourse. I do not understand why there should be any doubt, since he has taken her only for himself. She is certainly permitted to him because of her exclusive relationship... When she comes to live with him and becomes exclusively known to him, her children are recognized as his.” Here is the final link of establishing a family without marriage. They raise their children together in their common household. Concubinage, therefore, is almost identical to kiddushin, with one major difference: No get is required to separate and terminate the relationship,. The woman may leave the man and then marry another, because in reality she was not married to the first.
Rabbi Yaakov Emden wrote a long, reasoned feshuvah of 8,000 words to prove that the concubine may marry a single Jew that is summed up:“Those who prefer living together in concubine relationship are permitted to do so.”*” So now we must ask: Is it permissible for an unmarried couple to live together without the benefit of marriage? The answer will depend on which decisor you follow. If you accept the opinions of R. Eliezer and the Rambam , then such a relationship is forbidden, because it renders the woman a zonah.*' On the other hand, if we follow the rulings of the Ravad, Ramban, and Yaakov Emden, this relationship is accepted and even recommended.® This has become the almost universal custom, which has a halakhic bearing. Weighing each case on its own merits, we may in principle respond in the affirmative.