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history because of its abuse in justifying situations that were def initely not equal, I might use that to summarize my position Perhaps the phrase I used,“equality with distinction,” or as Rabbi Zion Bergman suggested to me,“equal but vive la differ ence!” captures the position better while simultaneously avoid ing any association with applications of its policy that do not preserve both factors in their entirety.

My favorite example to justify this position is, appropriately one based on custom. By law, both men and women are obligated to light Sabbath candles and to recite the kiddush on Friday nights. When Jews of both genders are not present, then, indeed, people of only one gender are supposed to do both things. When Jews of both genders are in attendance, however, then, by custom women generally light the candles and men recite the kiddush The distinction retains equality because family members pay

roughly the same amount of attention to both. When they do no the factors that lead them to pay more attention to the one or the other vary according to the family custom, the age of the children and so on; they are not a function of an inherently unequal degre¢ of significance in the two ceremonies. This can serve as a good example, then, of how customs can emerge or even consciously be created to enable us to be equal but different in our religious life as Jews .

In that example, the choice of that would normally be done by men and that by women was not determined by anything inherently male in saying kiddush in the home or anything

inherently female in lighting candles there. The choice evolved as common practice, but, from a rational or even a symboli

point of view, it was largely arbitrary. That, too, is something note as we make our way into the new customs that are evol” ing. Although we should certainly seek to differentiate the roles of men and women in meaningful, symbolic ways if we can, that will not always be possible. In such circumstances, we may choose to let men and women serve on an equal basis, or, at least in some cases, we may decide to differentiate their roles arbitra” ily. So, for example, individual congregations might designatt one Shabbat a month in that only women will serve as canto’ and another Shabbat in that only men do so, with the remainins ones open to members of both genders. That frankly see™