178 Selected Reform Responsa

David ben Zimri, Responsa 111, 525). Louis Epstein felt that such looser standards, which prevailed in the Byzantine Empire , spread slowly through Rumania to Western Europe (L. Epstein, Sex Laws and Customs in Judaism , p. 128). This led to the combination of be­trothal and marriage into a single ceremony in the medieval period and perhaps earlier. Prior to this time, the betrothed couple was faced with all the restrictions of marriage, and even needed a divorce in case of separation, but did not have the benefits of marriage. It is clear from all this that sexual intercourse between engaged couples was discouraged, but the prohibition was difficult to enforce. If the engagement had taken place through intercourse(bi-a), then further intercourse was not permitted until an official ceremony and Hupah had taken place(Sh.A4., Even Haezer 55.1, Yad, Hil. Ishut 6).

Given the indubitable fact that extramarital relations have become common in our day, can Judaism give them its approval? The answer is decidedly negative. We consider premarital and extramarital chastity to be our ideal.

On the question of informal heterosexual relations outside marriage between two consenting single adult individuals, we can then come to the following conclusions. Such relationships were prohibited and discouraged by authorities throughout the ages. Little was done when such relationships took place between two engaged persons, except in puritanical periods. Other sexual relationships between single adults were prohibited, and every effort was made to enforce such prohibitions. These prohibitions were equally strong upon the man and the woman. In times of lower moral standards, authorities were occasionally permissive or simply looked the other way. Generally, the effort to enforce high moral standards succeeded, and the responsa call attention to the failures. In our own period of loose standards, it would be appropriate to do everything within our power to encourage higher standards for both men and women. We should do whatever we can to discourage casual sexual relations.