Selected Reform Responsa 177
since it is clear from the literature that sexual relations took place often outside and also before marriage, although virginity for the female was greatly prized. Generally, intercourse with an unmarried girl fell under the concept of z nut, which was prohibited. If an act of intercourse was intended as a mode of lawful betrothal, the betrothal was indeed lawful(Mishnah , Kid . 1.1). Children born of liaisons conducted without contemplation of marriage. were completely free of any blemish, and there was no question about their legality(Kid . 4.1,2; Yev. 100b). Aside from such alliances reported in the Talmud , we also hear of them often in the Golden Age of Spain and in Renaissance Italy. Nahmanides was lenient about such illicit unions, and was willing to overlook them(Isaac b. Sheshet, Responsa, quoting Nahmanides , 6, 398: also 425 and 395). They are mentioned as well in other ages, but less frequently.
We must remember that the sexual drive, when leading to marriage and procreation, has always been considered in a positive light. Its association with the yetzer hara(wicked inclination) was given two interpretations: sexual relations might be sinful, but they constituted a necessary sin; sexual relations were not evil per se, but capable of leading to evil. Certainly, within marriage— and to some extent outside of it— sex was considered good and perfectly acceptable(A.Z. 5a; Yad, Hil. Isurei Bi-a 22.18f. Tur, Even Ha-ezer 25, etc.). There is an enormous Midrashic literature(see L. Ginzberg , Legends of the Jews) on the yetzer hara and its sexual overtones.
Let us also deal with the question of sexual relationships between those who were engaged and might live together for some time. This has been prohibited by tradition(Sh.4., Even Ha-ezer 55.1, etc.). In early times, such intercourse was reported as unobjectionable in Judea (Ket. 7b), but not in the Galilee(Ket. 12a). Some felt that the children of such a union should be declared mamzerim(Yev..69; Kid . 75a), a view which was not adopted. In the final analysis, the stricter view prevailed. Such relations remained fairly common(Yer, Kid . 64a; Otzar Hageonim. 18ff, etc.; Elijah Mizrahi , Responsa, 4,